I am in one of my "lack of motivation" periods right now. Just decided to not go out for a second day. Alternating between the swimming pool and AC in the house suits me just fine. I tend to have these periods when hot weather combines with really lackluster, stagnant or losing results that are starting to stretch from weeks to months.
At the risk of providing more fuel for JG to call me a 'crybaby', I am going to vent just a bit and share some results with you. First half of year, blackjack results: +$15,645, compared to $37000+ in expectation. I started the year slow and it never picked up. And from there I have gone downhill in the first 2 weeks of the second half. My blackjack winnings for the year now stand at $6260. A couple more days and I may be in the red. Yikes!
Now to put things in perspective, if I combine this year with last years results which were 50% above expectation and my best year ever (low 6 figures), I am almost dead on expectation. If I go back and combine my last two years with this first part of this year, I am still above expectation. But none of that helps me right now. Right now, the short term results of this partial year suck and I am just having a very hard time getting motivated. I know that I am not all of the sudden being cheated everywhere I play, nor have I grown really stupid and all of the sudden am a subpar player. It's just part of the game, part of the deal of playing blackjack for a living, and frankly has always been the toughest part for me. I am ok, with losing. Big losing days, losing weeks. It is when the weeks turn into months and I mean 4, 5, 6 subpar months in a row, that it just begins to weigh me down.
No need for words of encouragement. I am not looking for sympathy. And please, no suggestions that I use a higher count (that I will ask of you). I will climb out from under this sometime soon. I will climb back up the mountain. A few days of wins, even small wins, will turn to something significant and before you know it, I am within reach of expectation. But, not today. Today I lounge and vent and curse the BJ gods and those dealers pulling 21's out of their butt. Thanx for listening.
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