Sorry ahead of time for this weird post RE: Tropicana AC

[What me worry]

I had 2 cans of alphabet soup the other day, and had the largest vowel movement ever

I love that reminds me of something Groucho Marx would say

[Freightman]

Another story. I went traipsing through Europe for half a year in college. I was in Italy, and went into a public restroom in a touristy place. There was a little old lady selling paper napkins on a portable table near the entrance. Passed her right by. Went into a stall and horror of horrors--I was introduced to a "Turkish toilet", a hole in the ground with grab bars on each side. Well, I had to go, so... Fast forward a couple of minutes, and I start looking for some TP. None. Zip. Not even a holder.
I went back out to sheepishly buy some napkins, and the price had doubled.

One of those "you just can't make thus shit up up" stories happened to me earlier this year. Finished a bj trip, was getting ready to leave this city, stopped at 7-11 at the corner of ....,.and....... to fill up with up gas and take a dump (breakfast had upset my stomach).

Had to go, right now and found the washroom. First sign of trouble was the sign that said not to flush, but I absolutely had to take a shit, so I didn't give a shit. Relief was mine after seriously anointing the porcelain with my own territorial markings. I reached for the toilet paper, when, to my horrir, the dispenser was empty.

No problem, I thought. I've been in this situation before. I would simp,y use my smart phone to call up 6-11. Holy crap, I thought, as I realuzed that my phone was in the car. Oh oh....well, I could always waddle to the door with my pants around my knees, yell out for assistance. However, it was a large bathroom, and I had fear of minor droppings, so I discounted that idea.

Wait, wait I thought. The sign said, don't flush. So, a garbage can was close by. If enough ladies preceded me in their quest for relief, then, there should be some mildly damp tissues in the garbage can. Desperate situations call for desperate solutions - and so, I reached into the garbage can, pulled out balls of tissue, mildly damp from women wiping themselves after a pee. Although not pleased scenario, this was the best option under trying circumstances.

Well, I couldn't care less, so I flushed this toilet, washed my hands, somewhat more thoroughly than normal. I advised staff that their bathroom was disgusting, somewhat more so as my territorial markings did not succumb to the water pressure of said flush. At least, I had cursed them with the mark of Zorro. I for d the closest nearby gas station,, wanting to remove any further sign of the possible female contaminants encriaching on my butt hole. After all, can you get pregnant from toilet seats?

I complained to corporate 5-11, but Thats another story.

[BoSox]

Wait, wait I thought. The sign said, don't flush. So, a garbage can was close by. If enough ladies preceded me in their quest for relief, then, there should be some mildly damp tissues in the garbage can. Desperate situations call for desperate solutions - and so, I reached into the garbage can, pulled out balls of tissue, mildly damp from women wiping themselves after a pee. Although not pleased scenario, this was the best option under trying circumstances.

That was not the best option, you better be tested for everything! What about your socks, shirt, or underpants ?

[Zach Black]

Another thread in the toilet.

[Freightman]

Another thread in the toilet.

Yeah, ZACH, was crappy.
Bo, did do the precautionary bit.

[BoSox]

Wait, wait I thought. The sign said, don't flush. So, a garbage can was close by.

In the middle of your hurry trying to reach the throne, you had the wherewithal to side count a garbage can, pretty good Freightman. Be careful what you have for breakfast, when heading out on the road.

[Freightman]

Be careful what you have for breakfast, when heading out on the road.

Wasn't really what I had - more if where I had it.

[Freightman]

In the middle of your hurry trying to reach the throne, you had the wherewithal to side count a garbage can, pretty good Freightman.

I guess you could say - satisfaction was snatched.

[moses]

Freighter. There are no 3 words worse to read at the most vital moment of your life. Out of Order.

[MSRiver]

One of those "you just can't make thus shit up up" stories happened to me earlier this year. Finished a bj trip, was getting ready to leave this city, stopped at 7-11 at the corner of ....,.and....... to fill up with up gas and take a dump (breakfast had upset my stomach).

Had to go, right now and found the washroom. First sign of trouble was the sign that said not to flush, but I absolutely had to take a shit, so I didn't give a shit. Relief was mine after seriously anointing the porcelain with my own territorial markings. I reached for the toilet paper, when, to my horrir, the dispenser was empty.

No problem, I thought. I've been in this situation before. I would simp,y use my smart phone to call up 6-11. Holy crap, I thought, as I realuzed that my phone was in the car. Oh oh....well, I could always waddle to the door with my pants around my knees, yell out for assistance. However, it was a large bathroom, and I had fear of minor droppings, so I discounted that idea.

Wait, wait I thought. The sign said, don't flush. So, a garbage can was close by. If enough ladies preceded me in their quest for relief, then, there should be some mildly damp tissues in the garbage can. Desperate situations call for desperate solutions - and so, I reached into the garbage can, pulled out balls of tissue, mildly damp from women wiping themselves after a pee. Although not pleased scenario, this was the best option under trying circumstances.

Well, I couldn't care less, so I flushed this toilet, washed my hands, somewhat more thoroughly than normal. I advised staff that their bathroom was disgusting, somewhat more so as my territorial markings did not succumb to the water pressure of said flush. At least, I had cursed them with the mark of Zorro. I for d the closest nearby gas station,, wanting to remove any further sign of the possible female contaminants encriaching on my butt hole. After all, can you get pregnant from toilet seats?

I complained to corporate 5-11, but Thats another story.

LOL that was funny. But you must not be an outdoors kind of guy because that would have been a no brainer for me as I would have used my sock without thinking twice. I cant tell you how many times I had been hunting and had to go right then and end up using my sock if no good wide leaves are around. LOL

[Freightman]

LOL that was funny. But you must not be an outdoors kind of guy because that would have been a no brainer for me as I would have used my sock without thinking twice. I cant tell you how many times I had been hunting and had to go right then and end up using my sock if no good wide leaves are around. LOL

Please remind me not to borrow your socks, sox, or however Yankees spell that.

[Freightman]

Please remind me not to borrow your socks, sox, or however Yankees spell that.

I should add that my wife's idea of roughing it is a cheap hotel.

[Bubbles]

I compulsively check for toilet paper before I go. It has saved me from many a story.

I went to a fancy place with a bathroom attendant once. Between the weird food and annoyingly pushy bathroom person I concluded I was too redneck to understand it.

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