I hate mayo and mustard. Disgusting. It's the middle of the night and I haven't eaten. So I go to the 24 hour deli that I've never been to before. I get a cheeseburger. Menu says lettuce, tomato, pickle, and onion. Comes with fries or chips, I choose fries. I say no pickle and tomato three times because the not-so-friendly old person never acknowledges that part of the order. I want it charged to my room so maybe my host can comp it, and that's a whole ordeal. After the order is placed, I'm just standing for like two minutes. Finally I'm like what the hell and I'm like so "Be about 15 minutes?" And she replies "Something like that." I'm like wow.

So I come back after about 12 minutes and sit down. My soda is just sitting at the counter for god knows how long. I take that. A few minutes pass and she starts locking the place up to go on break. And as she passes me in the dining area, she says Oh, I forgot you had the burger (I was the only customer the entire tiime). Then she shows where she hid it, a couple feet away from my soda. And I have to reach it because she can't (she's taller than me) and she doesn't want to unlock the door (she has keys and there's no alarm set). No fries, and according to her, it's my fault she didn't tell me for "leaving so quick." Only after I asked where my fries were did she reluctantly unlock the door and give me a bag of chips that I didn't want. Then she disappears.

I bite into my burger and am like what the hell. It has mayo, mustard, and no onions. I tear apart half the burger and eat what can be salvaged. So my question is, is it normal to get a burger slathered with mayo and mustard with no mention of it on the menu? Is any part of this experience normal? Seems like ketchup would be the first thing they would slather it with if anything at all, not mayo, a condiment that many people despise.

I'm obviously going to have words with the registration desk about paying full price for this.