Well there's a lot you're doing right reading a book, using software and practicing with real cards. I would definitely recommend reading another book or two. They're really made for helping master basic strategy early on so next time you go to a casino and lose you know you made the correct hit or stay decisions. Spend the $90 for more software, and continue dealing yourself hands. Losing left and right is concerning even with negative variance. Flash's post about bankroll is perhaps the best advice. I had good luck at the beginning, but it could have just as easily been a bad downswing like you're experiencing dealing cards to yourself. Then even though you've done nothing wrong you're doubting everything the books have said. I also side counted aces early on, it's a little tougher but if you want to then go for it. With more practice you'll have no problem remembering the count from hand to hand.