Can a degenerate gambler like myself ever turn into a successful AP? I've read a couple books on blackjack, currently reading BJA3. I've practiced counting some, I definitely have more work to do before trying it live. I've played hundreds of hours of BJ as a ploppy. I've been to Vegas a hand full of times, I've played quite a bit of craps, and hours upon hours of slot machines. I am compulsive (ADHD) and sometimes I drink too much. Sure I've had the days when I've won a few thousand dollars but if I had to estimate I'd say I'm somewhere around 100k down in my lifetime of gambling. I make decent money and have no fantasies of being a professional AP but dammit I would like to get some of my money back. I live in indian casino territory so not the best rules but there are some beatable games in my opinion. I know I have the capability of being a successful BJ AP, but I'm not sure I have the discipline. I've read countless threads here and respect a lot of you guys (and gals) opinions.


I felt compelled to share this fairly lengthy quote from the movie Two for the Money from Al Pacino's character Walter Abrams:

You're a lemon. Like a bad car. There is something... there is something inherently defective in you, and you, and you, and me, and all of us. We're all lemons. We look like everyone else, but what makes us different is our defect. See, most gamblers, when they go to gamble, they go to win. When we go to gamble, we go to lose. Subconsciously. Me, I never feel better than when they're raking the chips away; not bringing them in. And everyone here knows what I'm talking about. Hell, even when we win it's just a matter of time before we give it all back. But when we lose, that's another story. When we lose, and I'm talking about the kind of loss that makes your asshole pucker to the size of a decimal point - you know what I mean - You've just recreated the worst possible nightmare this side of malignant cancer, for the twentieth goddamn time; and you're standing there and you suddenly realise, Hey, I'm still... here. I'm still breathing. I'm still alive. Us lemons, we fuck shit up all the time on purpose. Because we constantly need to remind ourselves we're alive. Gambling's not your problem. It's this fucked up need to feel something. To convince yourself you exist. That's the problem.