How to get the SO on board?

**aalborg** · 02-02-2020, 09:51 PM

New to counting I started six months ago. Went to a casino with some coworkers, found out craps is a losing game, got into BJ. I have a daily one hour non-driving commute, one way. I study and practice on those commutes. I’ve done 8 trips in the last 6 months and the math came out for me. I did poorly at first, recognized it and took a break, came back stronger. My practice game improved immensely, try keeping the count while someone is defecating on your subway car on a BJA app. I usually fail, I did keep the count last week, I was the only happy person on the car. I think my game is sound but now I’m stuck in the whole my SO keeps asking why I gamble. I pulled out the gamblers anonymous 21 questions survey and obviously passed. I keep bankroll separate of all finances, it doesn’t exist in our budget. I work fine dining and was able to start my bank roll with handshakes. How do y’all sell your spouses on BJ? She wants me to spend my winnings on a dinner when I come back from whichever state I went to. I’m trying to build bankroll. This is something I’ve never seen covered or approached. Obviously if there’s an ultimatum I choose my wife, but I enjoy BJ and paid vacations. I’m trying to avoid the ultimatum.

**porcelain** · 02-02-2020, 10:59 PM

If she wants you to buy a dinner with winnings, she sounds like she is on board with the overall idea of counting. Take her to dinner or whatever. Something to show her that this thing benefits you both. Then you can show her how you if build the bank roll, when you get to X stage you will take her to a beach vacation or buy her a Porsche.

You did the Gamblers' Anon survey and it is good to make sure you are honest about any addiction. I don't know your goals, but I think that is a good question to be able to answer for her. I assume you do it to make some money. You enjoy the game and the perks (paid vacations). Set it up with goals that include her (you are partners, after all) or else why would she support it?

Every woman, no matter how independent and accomplished, I have been involved with loves the idea of daddy buying her something fancy, taking her out. And that you have goals and drive and can accomplish them. Fucking James Bond, man, have that swagger. Be a badass and show her a good time. Good luck and let us know what you do.

**Wave** · 02-02-2020, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by aalborg

I keep bankroll separate of all finances, it doesn’t exist in our budget. I work fine dining and was able to start my bank roll with handshakes. How do y’all sell your spouses on BJ? She wants me to spend my winnings on a dinner when I come back from whichever state I went to. I’m trying to build bankroll.

I have only been playing for about 6 years, and counting for only approximately the last 4...had to go through the ploppy learning curve like most. Shortly after I started counting I decided I was going to approach this as a business, filed an LLC, and notified my spouse that this activity would be pursued with the same business acumen as my other businesses and that whenever she wanted to look at the books, as with my other businesses, all she had to do was ask. She has only asked once and I happened to be on a + variance upswing at the time (fortunately) and she has never asked since. I make sure we take advantage of all non-playing (RFB) comps together and I believe that has pacified any resistance she initially may have had...and when we do take advantage of an RFB comp I teller her to say: "thank you blackjack"...and then we both laugh. In my case, I think keeping bankroll separate from household finances was a crucial factor in her acceptance and support. In fact, she knows how much my BJ BR is now and can review it on line whenever she wants to, so I do not think she is worried about BJ having a detrimental effect on our household finances. I think most SOs would be supportive if they could share the perks a little and did not have to worry that BJ was going to effect their financial stability.

**ZeeBabar** · 02-03-2020, 12:32 PM

At the beginning, for a married person, playing with a players card helped. At local casinos, they handed out gifts and I would take them home, after a losing session I would ask and get a comped meal, I would get it as “carry out” and take it home. Sometimes the dinner comp was enough for 2 to dine and I would take her to dinner.

On away trips, I started getting comped rooms and was able to take her to Las Vegas. She loved walking and shopping on the strip (she paid for her own shopping) and I played BJ.

Now, I let her have $50 (on losing trips) and as much as $200 on winning trips as I seldom play rated, don’t get comped as often.

**CEO1** · 02-03-2020, 03:19 PM

I don't understand the Gamblers Anon survey...they must really be hard up for members because they make the survey so easy to answer "Yes" to every question.

**Ryemo** · 02-03-2020, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by CEO1

I don't understand the Gamblers Anon survey...they must really be hard up for members because they make the survey so easy to answer "Yes" to every question.

Agree. I answered yes to majority of those questions, but I would never consider myself a gambling addict. Not even close. I never had any interest in gambling until I discovered that I could play with +EV. But I could probably answer Yes to 90% of that questionnaire. That’s why many people who don’t understand AP probably think of us as degenerates. There’s a fine line between AP life and a gambling addict LOL.

**albee** · 02-03-2020, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by Wave

I have only been playing for about 6 years, and counting for only approximately the last 4...had to go through the ploppy learning curve like most. Shortly after I started counting I decided I was going to approach this as a business, filed an LLC, and notified my spouse that this activity would be pursued with the same business acumen as my other businesses and that whenever she wanted to look at the books, as with my other businesses, all she had to do was ask. She has only asked once and I happened to be on a + variance upswing at the time (fortunately) and she has never asked since. I make sure we take advantage of all non-playing (RFB) comps together and I believe that has pacified any resistance she initially may have had...and when we do take advantage of an RFB comp I teller her to say: "thank you blackjack"...and then we both laugh. In my case, I think keeping bankroll separate from household finances was a crucial factor in her acceptance and support. In fact, she knows how much my BJ BR is now and can review it on line whenever she wants to, so I do not think she is worried about BJ having a detrimental effect on our household finances. I think most SOs would be supportive if they could share the perks a little and did not have to worry that BJ was going to effect their financial stability.

Great post +1

**Midwest Player** · 02-03-2020, 07:42 PM

Is this the Gamblers Anon survey?
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/...t/20-questions

I answered yes to 5 of the 20 questions.

**aalborg** · 02-04-2020, 02:09 AM

I only answered yes to 3

Do I wish to return after losing, yes.
DO I wish to return after winning, yes.
Im a BJA fan, I believe in the long game and EV.
Do I keep my gambling expenses separate from “normal expenditures”
It’s called a bankroll.

I love what you did Wave. My only question is taxes.

**Wave** · 02-04-2020, 05:12 AM

Originally Posted by aalborg

My only question is taxes.

Schedule C as a sole proprietor...same as my other businesses...and I keep detailed records...same as my other businesses. If you do that though, you need to consult a tax professional to help you decide whether or not your gambling activity would be considered "professional" or not by the IRS...it will affect what types of deductions the IRS will consider permissible.

**JBourne** · 02-04-2020, 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by Wave

Schedule C as a sole proprietor...same as my other businesses...and I keep detailed records...same as my other businesses. If you do that though, you need to consult a tax professional to help you decide whether or not your gambling activity would be considered "professional" or not by the IRS...it will affect what types of deductions the IRS will consider permissible.

After researching it, I have decided I can file as a professional even though it is not my primary income. Perfect record keeping, pattern of commitment to profit, and isolation from personal finances.

The question is if/how an LLC helps? I already have an S-Corp that I can use, but I am not sure if I should bother.
How does that flow through from a schedule K? Why do it if the LLC if it ultimately lands on your schedule C?

**JBourne** · 02-04-2020, 06:02 AM

Originally Posted by aalborg

How do y’all sell your spouses on BJ?

It's investing, not gambling. It take a while for them to understand that.
Your activities are likely creating fear that something bad is going to happen. (Lose money you can't afford, get hurt, not pay her enough attention, etc...)
There has to be something in it for them, more than what it costs them. It's probably a different balance for everyone.

Last weekend:
Her: Did you win?
Me: No, I lost $800.
Her: I guess you were due for that, you have been winning a lot lately.
Me: Yup, that's true. Hey, check out the [free gift] I got.
Her: Nice, it only cost $800.
Me: Sigh.

**Eye of the Eagle** · 02-04-2020, 07:50 AM

Best to never discuss gambling with the SO as they do not understand the ups and downs of your endeavor. Women are not built for the wild swings that you will experience up $5,000, then down $10,000. Save yourself the headache and keep it to yourself.