So I started on this board in 2012. I owe a lot to it cause I got some good advice with my newbie questions but then once I got into the swing of things worked I came up with a different style of play and did really well for myself. I played most big action places if not all in Canada, USA, carribean , and Panama. Made one trip to South Korea.
i had some denial about my up bringing and started to develop debilitating anexity that the professional gambling surley did not help. I started therapy 2.5 years ago and that’s when it became difficult for me to play. I moved to California to get away from things back east and start a new life. I thought about going back to being a financial advisor but with all that money I didn’t want to get off my ass and work a real job. I started getting sugar baby on seeking arangements and prob blew like 75k on them. I have deep seated intimacy issues so really relationships involve panic on me. I started banking baccarat in the cali card room and did real well with that but for some reason it tilted me. I started straight gambling 20k a hand on banker and in less then a week I made 700k. That’s was the end for me and everytime I tried to call up the bank and give me 150k cashto start up a new bankroll to start card counting I would get this massive anexity and go play baccarat to alleviate it. The intention was always to card count and travel but never to play bac. I lost 680k the following week and my bankroll hit atm was 1,893,000. I wanted to hit 2 million then I was gunna chill out with the minus ev stuff. It never happened. So over the the last 1.5 to 2 years my life would look like hanging out in SANTA Monica and getting escorts/sugar babies.then ever 3 months I would get bored and want to try earning money threw card counting. I did this successful from about November to Jan 2017-2018. I played Vegas and got tossed and flyers all over in a week and the flyers made it all over. I did some stuff about ctring in an ein number and when the found out my real identity they bugged and flyerd me all over. It was really hard for me to play. I found some horrible countable games in the cards rooms where I could get a score 17 and play all day with 5k-6k top bets. I played all day and night and after like 2-3 weeks I turned around the slump and made like 150k. Now what I didn’t realize at the time is I was craving action so I was looking for huge games to play. I know the dragon limits in la are huge and I found a game with a rebate I could count the dragon 7 in bac and make 4K a day in ev right by my house. It was a horrible as it score 16 when u factor in the rebate because the pen was 1 deck. I ran insanely bad and lost 183k betting. 700 on the dragon 7 when the true count trigger indicted it needed to be bet. I took some time off and that tilted my lights out and start doing a betting progression of 10k to 20k on a wining hand. So I have decided I’m quitting trying to card count and going back to a career where I can slowly build up a business over time ( prob 10 years). Gambling has turned really destructive for me and I’m still processing a lot of stuff emotionally from therapy. My roll now sits at 380k from 1,893,000. I tell this story to see if I can help any other people out here. If ur getting anexity before u play , or from traveling, or carrying cash please go see a therapist who has there PhD. From all the deep work I did is I really didn’t ever want to card count. I did this unconiously cause I wanted his love I never got and this made him proud and he would brag to all his friends about me. My therapist things this is why I self sabotaged myself. My parents have personality disorders that I wasn’t aware of so my upbringing was torturous and I rebelled as hard as I could as a teenager.
so what I have to show from my ap career is 380k. No friends, no relationship and isolation. When u realize the money is just a defense mechanism to block deep seated pain you really have no use for it besides living. Please think twice for anyone who wants to get into this career if they have other options. It’s not the best mental health career and I see patterns of childhood truama playing out in a lot of ap pros. There are certain tells and I can pick them up cause I can see what was repressed in me so I know what to look for in them.
i can’t be the only won where the gambling turned ugly for them. Im confident enough to tell my story and not feel shame if I can help another person. Bet of luck to everyone and good cards!
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