Best 1 liners at the table

[cc12b]

I was at a table, a women came to the table with grumpy face and said "I got beat up at any table I play". A man turned to her and said "tell me where is good table and I pay commission".

[Freightman]

Guy to my left tells me he had been losing while putting bets in the circle with his right hand and started winning once he switched to his left. I asked "What are you doing with your left hand that you weren't doing with your right?

If the dealer had been drinking coffee, she would have spit all over the table.

[Ryemo]

Guy to my left tells me he had been losing while putting bets in the circle with his right hand and started winning once he switched to his left. I asked "What are you doing with your left hand that you weren't doing with your right?

If the dealer had been drinking coffee, she would have spit all over the table.

Haha! That's good, lol.

[marriedputter]

When I want to flirt with the dealer and I happen to be losing:

The dealer's hot......and she's getting good cards!

[Bigdaddy]

If you want to pick up a bunch of great one-liners, check out the book: "Blackjack Autumn". The author, Barry Meadow, has a great sense of humor especially with respect to some of the beatings he took along the way. For instance:

I felt like a blackjack piñata

Is it house policy that the player is not allowed to win any hands?

I was losing my money faster than the guy in Brewsters Millions

I was changing more $100s than a Wall Street bartender

I got more abuse than Joan Crawford’s daughter

I got abused worse than Tina Turner


I've used variations of these when I encounter a hot dealer - it gets them laughing....

[cc12b]

I told the female dealer after string of loosing hands "I wonder what I did to you in my previous life and now you punish me". She pause for couple of seconds then said "I wonder what I did in my previous life and now God makes me a dealer"

[kripton]

+++++1

[ZenMaster_Flash]

mkayyy

Huh ?

[hitthat16]

^ South Park reference.