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Dont be so hard on yourself KJ.
It is impossible for an unusual event like the one you are describing not to affect you.
I dont understand why you feel its a flaw.
If anybody (other than a robot) tells you they can take a HUGE loss without being affected by it they are lying.
Im sure you know by now that it is only a matter of time before this big loss gets diluted in your overall results.
When this happens to me, I start questioning whether my count is wrong. After I test myself, my count is always correct. I'd look at this as you just bought yourself some additional play time at those stores. Go make your money back and before you know it, you will be experiencing healthy profits.
In addition, turn this negative into a positive. The general public would quit after experiencing something like this. However, AP's like yourself have an uncanny ability to handle adversity. We do not give up because of a short-term outcome when we know our process works in the long run.
If someone invested in the Dow Jones at its bottom in 2009, they would be experiencing more than a 200% profit as of today.
I agree with bjarg. It is impossible to let it not affect you and no saying you will get over it quickly will work, no matter how well intentioned everyone is. However, I think that while devastating in a way, variance DOES happen. You hit it much more than many, many others on this site. When you get hit in the head that hard, now is the time to step away for a "short" time. Refresh yourself. Get away from the game. Don't dwell on it too much because you CAN'T change anything now. BUT.....after a little bit away. And after quitting beating yourself up...........reanalyze what occurred. If it was truly variance alone........and you didn't make any glaring mistakes that you can recall............get back out there and scrape out a small positive win. That will make you feel better. And get your mind back on what you have been doing all along..........win in the long run. If you felt that objectively you made a few mistakes........analyze why and vow to recognize the situation and not make the same mistakes. In your case KJ; doubt there were any big issues or mistakes made............we all make small ones from time to time.
Though my numbers are not close to yours, I know that the first half of last year I was doing well for me. Winning a fair/decent amount. Then bottom fell in on a couple of trips and I gave back much of what I had won. But after a little self flagellation, I went back out. Vowed to continue and to do better. Practiced a little and made the next trip a winner. Nothing like even a small win to make you feel better about a loss.
You're the best, man!
"Women and cats will do as they please, and Men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea" --- Robert A. Heinlein
I agree with bjarg. There's no way you can be human and not have this bother you to some extent. Your emotional state will right itself with time and you'll be ok, because you understand clearly what has happened and will take corrective action if you decide there was some kind of problem with your game. Things like being over tired or distracted are all that I can think of, because I know that your game and approach is technically sound. However, even that seems unlikely given that the first drop occurred during your first session.
FWIW, I experience a similar thing during tournament play. Sometimes a freak occurrence or mistake can cost 5 figures all in an instant. I played a baccarat tournament over the weekend and finished 2nd for a $10,000 pay day. However, I made a major error with my bet on the final hand that cost me first place, which was $30,000. That's a $20,000 error and it all happened during the space of a few minutes. The horror of the realization after my bet was locked in was one thing. Punishing myself for being so careless for days after is another thing. Fortunately, I know exactly what happened and will make sure that it never happens again.
More similar to your situation is a bad beat during a tournament, in which case all I can do is shake my head and move forward. I know that you'll be able to do just that!
"Women and cats will do as they please, and Men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea" --- Robert A. Heinlein
That is so true and i am always affected by that ,but to what extent . 80-100 max bets lost in a day will happen and when it happens i wanna be prepare to deal with it . In your case KJ it is probably 2x in a day! I do not understand why members here say that 200 max bets is adequate . IMO it is nowhere adequate . At least 400-600 max bets and hopefully going to 1000 max bets or some kind of high edge play/team play /low variance play. Just stating my thoughts .as I don't have any credential to give advice. Get some healthy ways of dealing with stress . Psychological and chemical changes in your body ,NO DOUBt. This forum is your support and you will feel better in a few days ,then in a few weeks you should be quite a lot better.
Last edited by stopgambling; 02-24-2015 at 02:49 PM.
You keep re-playing the events in your mind. I'm curious. Do you believe you played/bet incorrectly? Or is it more astonishment or bewilderment that you could suffer such a hit.
I concur with others that there is no "flaw" in play here. This is gonna leave a bruise on your psyche for a while. Really, you're not playing for M&M's here.
You're experiencing normal emotions, just like those who suffer from other terribly unfortunate life events. They always get replayed.
Not that any of this is gonna help you fell better about it, but it is entirely normal.
Soldier on my friend.
P.S. I will always remember the crash when we lost 40% of our portfolio...always
“One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.” Ogden Nash
I'll share my story. Even though my losses weren't anywhere near the stakes some of you play and even compared to my stakes the losses weren't huge, the loss I'm going to talk about was definitely a huge hit emotionally.
I was an under rolled red-chipper at the time and the standard amount I would bring per session was about 15 max bets (the amount of one out of two hands). I had a shoe where I had an 8, 2 and 7, 7 versus a dealer's 4. I split the 7s and received a 3 on one of them, so I doubled and I also doubled the 10 (8, 2). So I had 5 max bets on the table. The dealer ended up drawing to a 20 and my highest hand was a 19. That same shoe I lost 3 more max bets in addition to that big hand just described. I hit a bad shoe immediately after. I just survived after having everything I had left on the table once or twice. A few shoes later I went bust in the middle of a huge count. It was the first time I had to go home early because I ran out of cash.
The session I had before was also a decent loss. In just two sessions I had a swing for about a quarter of my bankroll (I was under rolled like I said). It was pretty devastating. I took a day off to forget about blackjack. The day after I came back in, had one of the smallest wins I could have, but still a win. I just kept doing what I was always doing, because I knew I did nothing wrong, and that I should definitely be expect such swings.
Also, not part of the above story, but I've had a few times where I've maxed bet, and bet all 7 side wagers on the table (Lucky Ladies) since the count was super high and nothing but smalls came out. The guy beside me asked "did you lose the count?". I was definitely very annoyed.
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