This is a question for the Blackjack APs or any AP for that matter that have a family and/or wife. How do you balance family life and blackjack? How is it viewed by your wives? Im at the notion that girls/women don't look at blackjack or professional gambling all that greatly and could cause a divorce or break up with a current girlfriend or wife. I want to eventually play this game close to full time but I also don't want to end up single forever LOL
Most likely they will always see it as a gambling problem. If you are winning and playing a lot you have a gambling problem. If you happen to be losing (even though playing a winning game) you really have a gambling problem. They just don't get it.
I have my own business, I spend several hours a day there, I'm supposed to bring home more money than it costs to run the business, but its possible to lose money. I don't have a business problem.
I go to the casinos with a plan to win money and computer software to back it up. I have a gambling problem.
Edit: And I am fortunate, my wife is tolerant.
Last edited by ohbehave; 02-09-2015 at 02:26 PM.
At first, my then fiancé and now wife thought I had a serious gambling problem and that I would lose everything. Se has since become tolerant of it and understands that it is possible to win. The rest of my family doesn't really know. They know I like to play blackjack, but they don't know of the kind of stakes I play. My parents would probably throw up at the thought of me betting chunky black.
Like ohbehave said, it's funny the social stigma that comes with gambling. If I invest in a stock and it loses value, it's not like I have a stock problem. I usually tell people that I am way more comfortable with blackjack than I am with the market, and that it has paid me dividends (in terms of annual bankroll percentage increase) that would make Warren Buffett drool.
But nope. I'm still mostly seen as a gambler with a problem to society. Someday I'll tell my family of the stakes I play, but not yet. Only my wife and I know.
Tough with kids. A good spouse will understand why you're away all the time if they knew what they were getting into (especially when they see the $). But at some point you may rather be at the dinner table with your kids than in a Casinoville motel, especially if you don't need the money as much any more . I think I'm near that point. Which leads into the life question of 'what next?' To which I don't have an answer.
I got a kick out of this one, Muff..........I remember when I was married a long time ago. When I won and sprinkled 100's on her, she was happy. When we got comped and traveled to Vegas on the casino nickel, she was happy. Happy to party and have fun in Vegas. As soon as we went to divorce court however, I had a "gambling problem" and the judge I had did NOT understand the theory of comps v. hours played v. basic strategy and statistics. AMAZING how their viewpoint can change.Originally Posted by muffdiver
"Women and cats will do as they please, and Men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea" --- Robert A. Heinlein
a judge does not have the capability of understanding general theory of statistic ,that is sad and ignorant on his part. One only need average intellect to comprehend such basic concept ,i am not talking about the deep mathematics of actually analyzing how to beat the game with probability theory and such.
Naaaahhhh.....she didn't. She was the spendthrift in the family. But it played well to the judge. He prohibited me from further trips to Vegas until the divorce was final. He had NO understanding of gambling theory or the low house edge in BJ. I tried to explain how comps worked to the judge and that the trips didn't really cost me any money. But he said no one would pay your way to play cards. And you can't explain it to some folks. It was just a way for her to get back at me. LOL Long past and no one I'm involved with now has any issue (nor would I be involved with anyone that didn't understand BJ was an avocation for me).
Last edited by MJGolf; 02-09-2015 at 06:09 PM. Reason: more detail added
"Women and cats will do as they please, and Men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea" --- Robert A. Heinlein
My wife is very supportive of my blackjack hobby.
Even though she is not interested in learning to count, she understands what I do.
I usually just make day trips to the casino, and always tell her my net win or loss for the day, so she understands the swings.
After a big loss, she will remind me that I will win it back, which I know but it's nice to hear it from someone else.
She's not crazy about me getting home late sometimes, but our kids are grown so it's not a big issue.
But I am retired, and I'm not looking to BJ to support us.
That is a much tougher road, and I tip my hat to guys like KJ who can support themselves doing this.
My advice to most young people is to get your college degree, make your career your primary focus, and only play BJ if you can keep it from being a distraction to your career.
The variance will be alot less, and BJ will always be there for you.
I would think it would be very difficult to be married with young kids and to have a "normal" life if you are a full time BJ player.
If she wants to change who you are, why do you want to be with her?
My ex-wife wouldn't have understood. (I got into this after she left.) My ex-girlfriend didn't understand it. (She thought it was supposed to be about fun, not about profit.)
My current girlfriend understands it, supports it, and enjoys the comped dinners. She doesn't like it when I'm out all night once in a while, since I often forget to check in every few hours like she likes - but her objection is to my failure to communicate (and assuage her paranoid fear of my demise), not about me going out and playing cards as a part-time side job.
May the cards fall in your favor.
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ZK you just need to tell a significant other if they cannot handle it, the door is right there (point to it), and you can leave whenever you want.
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