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  1. 01-07-2014, 03:10 PM #53
    njrich
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    When life throws you a lemon screw the lemonade and grab the salt and tequila.
    Beware the fury of a patient man.
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  2. 01-07-2014, 03:24 PM #54
    hitthat16
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    Green action!
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  3. 01-07-2014, 03:41 PM #55
    Kat
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    “There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight.”
    Lon Chaney
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  4. 01-07-2014, 04:40 PM #56
    metronome
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    I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
    Mitch Hedberg
    “One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.” Ogden Nash
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  5. 01-07-2014, 04:49 PM #57
    metronome
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    And one of my favorites:

    The mountains are calling and I must go.
    John Muir
    “One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.” Ogden Nash
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  6. 01-07-2014, 05:57 PM #58
    Norm
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    A few Steve Wrightisms:

    What's another word for Thesaurus?

    I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

    I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

    There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    "I don't think outside the box; I think of what I can do with the box." - Henri Matisse
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  7. 01-07-2014, 06:24 PM #59
    metronome
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    http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot
    “One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.” Ogden Nash
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  8. 01-07-2014, 08:28 PM #60
    Rudy
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    "In a gentle way, you can shake the world."

    Mahatma Ghandi.
    Blackjack will test your soul, your character, and the very fiber of your being.
    Don Schlesinger.
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  9. 01-07-2014, 08:30 PM #61
    Rudy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norm View Post
    Or, as Einstein said:

    "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
    Good one.
    Blackjack will test your soul, your character, and the very fiber of your being.
    Don Schlesinger.
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  10. 01-07-2014, 09:26 PM #62
    bjarg
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    This thread should be made a sticky...
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  11. 01-08-2014, 03:51 AM #63
    Kat
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    Do not speak of what could have been. All that ever was, was all that ever could have been. ~ On tombstone of Zen Master
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  12. 01-08-2014, 05:40 AM #64
    mofungoo
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    Asteroids and hemmoroids. Aren't these things named backwards?

    Steven Wright
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  13. 01-08-2014, 06:32 AM #65
    Jabberwocky
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    Quote Originally Posted by mofungoo View Post
    Asteroids and hemmoroids. Aren't these things named backwards?

    Steven Wright
    First of all hemorroids is spelled with two rs and one m.
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