?It is the true nature of mankind to learn from mistakes, not from example."
-Fred Hoyle

If anyone can identify with this, it?s me. I add to the misery of it all by knowingly making the choice to do something that is sure to validate Mr. Hoyle?s observation. Things like this are what the thoughts in my head are composed of as I get into my car to drive to my favorite stomping grounds. Here, I will attempt to accomplish my new found goal of twenty dollars an hour. I have used all of the resources available to me to try and justify this trip. The consensus of those resources were weighed heavily in my decision to go. In the end, I decided
I would give it a shot, with a few adjustments. Main adjustment being that I would only make this trip with a one session bankroll of 30 units and try to make the best out of it. I read somewhere this can be referred to as the hail mary bankroll. I like the description. Whether it be good or not, it?s the position I?m in most of the time, so off I went.

?Without measureless and perpetual uncertainty the drama of human life would be destroyed."
-Winston Churchhill

The whole time I drive I?m thinking numbers and possibilities. I myself believe that humans as a whole are nosey. Some decipher this as curiousity. Either way, it?s this curiousity that drives people to make decisions that have no guaranteed outcome. Calculate and churn all the numbers in the world, I still have no guarantee what will come of this trip. That?s damn well exciting. Maybe not the smartest or most advantageous, but what the hell. I?m curious to see what will happen if I go against the odds a bit. As I think of how far I have to drive, my mind slightly drifts from numbers to ?What ifs??. What if I hit a run?
What if I have my session bankroll swiftly taken from me? What if one of the slot machines I randomly play while walking through the casino hits a jackpot? What if while on the interstate one of these big rigs swerves and takes me out, and I never even make it to the casino? Better stop daydreaming and go back to numbers. Like a machine pluses, doubles, stands, hits, splits, and deviations scroll down the screen of my mind, reminding me of the matrix screen. All these
thoughts and mind exercises go on, until I look up and see that glorious exit number. What a way to pass time. I turn off to go find the unknown outcome.

?A man should keep his little brain attic stocked with all the furniture that he is likely to use, and the rest he can put away in the lumber room of his library, where he can get it if he wants.?
- Arthur Conan Doyle

I am really close to the casino now, so I make the traditional stop
at the gas station. I?m feeling under the weather with a cold this trip, so I also use this stop to pop some cold medicine and make sure I have a sneeze catcher. I also buy the usual water, cigarettes, gum. Water because I?m only human, I do have some superstition. That will just be left at that. Cigarettes for multiple reasons as I?m not an all the time smoker. One is the clich? of it calming nerves a bit. Two, it aides in some cover. Three, nothing better than blowing smoke someone?s way if I feel they need to leave the table. Gum, because I don?t smoke in my car and cigarettes stink to hell and back also leaving a morbid taste in my mouth. Gum is a great relief. I go inside and make my purchases.I walk out to stand by my car and smoke a cig. As many do I?m sure, maybe beginners more than seasoned players, I start zoning and getting that nervous feeling. It?s akin to when I was underage and would go to buy a sixer. I?m standing there watching the smoke curl away with the wind and disappear.
The thought crosses my mind that, that could very well be symbolic of my bankroll. I instantly switch to positive mode. I know I may or may not win but I refuse to go in with the, ?I?m going to lose anyway? mentality. That?s not what I have spent hundreds of hours practicing for. I know what I?m doing. I know more about the game than probably 90% of the people here. Unless of course there happens to be some BJ convention unknown to me. Then that number would see a dramatic change. Anyway, you know what I mean. Thinking, I really start getting into my zone. I push everything else out of my mind. Nothing else matters now except what I know about the game. I am here with a purpose. I am no casual gambler. I?m an armed player. I am here to relieve the casino of it?s money. I have read many books and countless articles, I know and practice the cover and disguise aspect of the game. The more I think about it the more outlawish I feel. I take a drag, wondering if this is what a bank robber kind of feels like as he sits in his car waiting for the right moment to walk in. I flick the cigarette to the ground stomp it out and pop in a cough drop. Wonderful combination. I go to get in my car and stop. I really was in deep thought.
I go back and pick up the cigarette butt. I can?t stand littering. I get back into my car, take one last deep breath, crank Ozzy loud as hell and press on. It?s time to put my furniture to use.

?Wouldst thou? - so the helmsman answered -
?Learn the secret of the sea? Only those who brave it?s dangers Comprehend its mystery!?
- The Secret of the Sea

Many people will ask and wonder, ?With all the wild ups and downs, why still do you keep playing?? I?m thinking the above answers that question.You can only brave the dangers of the game if you have the desire to learn the secrets and build a proper vessel to navigate the wild Blackjack Sea and all its ups and downs.

The rest of the public version of this trip report will be edited way more than it has been up to this point. As you may have guessed I made it to the casino. Where I experienced ups and downs. I had one solid loss that almost worried me. I came back swinging and was able to gain it back. In the end I broke even for the weekend. The man responsible for me even being here said to reread his book over and over. You will learn something new every time. Nothing but truth in that.I have read it 5 times at least. With each reading, I had added some casino time to my resume, so each time it was like reading it thru new eyes. I feel the same way about visiting the casino. Every time I leave a casino, go home to study, then come back, I always notice something new or realize some weakness.

So while I don?t always come out ahead at the end of the trip. I?m getting one helluvah a deal on tuition.

?The only place where success comes before work is a dictionary?
- Vidal Sassoon

Vidal was actually quoting one of his teachers in a BBC radio broadcast. Anyway, with that point in mind, I have purchased CV software and will be getting a ton of great practice in between my casino visits. All the while letting my bankroll build up more before I attack it as aggressively as I was about to. That is, before some great minds gave some great advice and some sound numbers. Thanks guys.

Kid