How I Caught You Counting Cards
Lowland, Danny. How I Caught You Counting Cards And How To Beat Me Next Time. Independently published (September 24, 2024).
The first part of the book includes nuggets of wisdom from the author’s own vantage point of casino surveillance and the house in general, such as, “Thou shalt not use their [sic] phone while on casino property outside of the bathroom.” Unfortunately, one has to mine them from the dross of pervasive typos, grammatical errors, and motherf***ing profanity (yes, I curse too, but in a book it just looks unprofessional). It reads as if it had been dictated and then not proofread, by anyone. (I like the way he refers to his editor’s advice, after he lists himself as editor.)
And there is a little bit of travel advice, such as how to store cash in your vehicle. Accompanied by helpful tips such as, “Ventilation is vital to avoid condensation and ensure a comfortable sleeping environment.”
One serious error, with potentially serious consequences, involves the structuring of cash transactions. “While some of this advice may be what the casino calls ‘structuring’ because you're not cashing everything out at once, it is NOT ‘structuring’. Structuring will only come into play if you try and have someone else cash out the rest of your chips.” [Emphasis mine.] For a dissenting opinion, see the Code of Federal Regulations, https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-3...p-1010.100(xx) :
For purposes of § 1010.314, a person structures a transaction if that person, acting alone, or in conjunction with, or on behalf of, other persons, conducts or attempts to conduct one or more transactions in currency, in any amount, at one or more financial institutions, on one or more days, in any manner, for the purpose of evading the reporting requirements under §§ 1010.311, 1010.313, 1020.315, 1021.311 and 1021.313 of this chapter. “In any manner” includes, but is not limited to, the breaking down of a single sum of currency exceeding $10,000 into smaller sums, including sums at or below $10,000, or the conduct of a transaction, or series of currency transactions at or below $10,000. The transaction or transactions need not exceed the $10,000 reporting threshold at any single financial institution on any single day in order to constitute structuring within the meaning of this definition.
The next 93 pages, slightly more than half of the book, is a cursory and mostly garbled summary of 18 counting systems, only eight of which are described correctly. For example, the card values for KISS I are said to be 2, 3, 4, 5, 6: +1; all other cards: 0. (!) And Red Zen, besides being incorrect in general, is described as a balanced count that is derived from the Zen count, and includes no color-aware values. A single table of index departures is included for each count, with no explanation. On the last page: “Learn different strategies and deviations. F***. I didn't even go over those! Well, you should look into that.”
I am at a loss to understand the author's own “quantum momentum count,” where the sum of the card values, and the initial running count, are both negative. The “momentum” factor: add 0.5 if the dealer’s up card is a low card, and subtract 0.5 if it is high. “Increase bets when the count is positive, especially if the momentum factor is also positive, indicating a streak of low cards that enhances player odds.”
The second half of the book is written so badly, with so many easily-identifiable errors, that one wonders if it is an attempt by the casino industry to lead players astray. (I’m sorry, but it really is that bad.)
Why should you buy extra copies of the book to give as gifts? According to the author, “I got bills too motherf***er.”
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