Your statement about not being an AP is the only true thing you've written. The idea that after a big win you can defer the bad juju to a home session is horseshit. You can't beat blackjack by stopping after a win and diverting a certain amount out of your bankroll. You're not an AP, you're a high stakes gambler. Like most gamblers you wouldn't *want* to play with an advantage. You say you're always looking for an added edge? No, you're looking for a new trick to predict how to win the very next session. I was once a gambler too who saw the movie 21 and thought I knew what I was doing but didn't even know basic strategy. I kept trying different tactics after losses to change up the luck. I kept playing until I lost it all and the same will happen to you. Any session which you happen to win isn't really a win at all unless it's the very last hand you ever play.
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