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Thread: Best 1 liners at the table

  1. #1


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    Best 1 liners at the table

    I'm sure there are lots of good ones. Here's a couple to start things off.

    My very best - the girl ploppy to one side of me, after winning several in a row, excitedly exclaimed - it comes in spurts.

    What a coincidence, I replied.

    I'm boxed on both sides, with an attractive young lady, solid basic player, to my left. I asked "can I play behind you?" She replied - ummm, errrr, I'm married.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Bubbles's Avatar
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    To the dealer, "I like your busts."

  3. #3


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    Quote Originally Posted by Fenix View Post
    To the dealer, "I like your busts."
    I akways like a good bust.

    You have to know your dealer when you try this one - if I toke for the dealer on the side bet, I will always participate - in other words, it is advantageous to do so. I'll ask the dealer, of the opposite sex - do you prefer the top or the bottom.

  4. #4


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    When I'm playing green, I'll occasionally put a black chip or two under my green. Sometimes the dealer misses the payoff - not noticing the black chips.

    So I have to remind them that: "Black chips matter too."

  5. #5


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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigdaddy View Post
    When I'm playing green, I'll occasionally put a black chip or two under my green. Sometimes the dealer misses the payoff - not noticing the black chips.

    So I have to remind them that: "Black chips matter too."
    HA!!!

    Dealer: "You KNEW what was coming out next, didn't you?"
    Me: "No, I just changed it to what I needed with my mind...in the shoe...before you grabbed it."

    Another, compliments of Tthree (that I've mentioned here before):

    Dealer: "You're a professional, I KNOW you're a professional."
    Player: "You're right, but I'm off duty at the moment. If you want my number for when you're free later, let me know."

  6. #6


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    It's hard for players to win at a full table because the blackjacks are spread out among more players.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7


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    My wife wins it back at the slots!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  8. #8


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    I win at this 15% HE side bet ALL the time!

  9. #9


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    Honorable mention to the 'mother-in-law' hand. The dreaded 17.

  10. #10


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    Quote Originally Posted by paymypush View Post
    Honorable mention to the 'mother-in-law' hand. The dreaded 17.
    ha. I was going to bring that up but decided against it because it's more of a cute name than a one-liner.

    One dealer at my local shop, this little old but feisty grannie, always calls 16s jailbait and 17s mother-in-law. She explained the mother-in-law one to me: "17, you want to hit it but you really shouldn't".

  11. #11


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    Quote Originally Posted by NotEnoughHeat View Post
    ha. I was going to bring that up but decided against it because it's more of a cute name than a one-liner.

    One dealer at my local shop, this little old but feisty grannie, always calls 16s jailbait and 17s mother-in-law. She explained the mother-in-law one to me: "17, you want to hit it but you really shouldn't".
    Your name "Not enough Heat" is a one liner you should try...maybe shiver a bit?

  12. #12


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    Quote Originally Posted by NotEnoughHeat View Post
    She explained the mother-in-law one to me: "17, you want to hit it but you really shouldn't".
    +1

    My favorite mother-in law joke goes back to Henny Youngman: "I just got back from a pleasure trip. I drove my mother-in-law to the airport."

  13. #13


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    Whenever somebody has been complaining about losing for what seems like hours.....

    Stand up from your seat and yell....

    "OH MY GOD!?!?!.... you lost money???????.....in a casino??????? That's crazy!!!!!!!!"

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