Well, I'm sure that got your attention, hunh? I'm referring to the plethora of crap magazines that are being put out now focusing on the popular T-n-G theme. A friend came over with a copy of "TopPair" magazine, about 100 pages of gambling "articles" and poorly produced pin-up pix. The publisher is a probably-in-her-50's-but-with-so-much-work-done-she-could-pass-for-45 bleached-blonde woman with the second biggest pair of tits I've ever seen. I think her husband probably gave her some money to keep her busy, or something. The July issue (the 2nd), has an interview with Kato Kaelin, articles about (but not by) Phil Hellmuth and Scotty Nguyen, an interview with the "centerfold," and not one bit of actual information on playing the game. It's all about the game's popularity and article on specific events, but it's all fluff with no strategy or math info ? for crying out loud, it actually has a "Pokerscope!" There are a couple of articles by pros, but still on the fluff level, lots of pictures of celebrities, and more ads than articles. The only good info is a listing of weekly tournaments around the country. Oh, and if you're a gambler with a foot fetish, you'll like the pictures that accompany the "footnotes" every few pages.

Then I got a copy of "Assets" sent to me, with the tagline "Wealth-Women-Wagering." This 50-page magazine is overly produced, with the thick paper and the slick graphics, but the pin-ups are again poorly produced (as in the case above, fuzzy pix with bad shadows and poor lighting). This magazine has even less on gambling, and doesn't focus on poker. There's a page on how poker is very popular with celebrities right now (is the magazine written a year ahead of time?), billiards hustling, an "historical" article on Jack Johnson, and a bunch of articles on half-naked women. The text has way too much leading (space between the lines) and is a really large font, and most stories are just one page, including the pix, so it's obvious that they're just space-fillers between the copious ads for online casinos and golf courses.

"TopPair" has a price tag of $4.99, just $3 less than a "Playboy," which has better pictures (with actual topless chicks) and less fluff (if you can believe it). "Assets" didn't have a price tag on it, but the subscription is $19.95 for 4 issues in one year, so it's also $5/issue. If you're interested in gaming, get a real gaming magazine. If you like tits, get "Playboy." Just a friendly warning to save those red chips for use at the tables and not to buy these magazines. I doubt either will live more than a year, anyway.

Bettie